jbujunkie's Xanga

Saturday, June 30, 2007

Sat, 30 Jun 2007 02:12:46 GMT

i just have to keep telling myself that God loves me and that life will not always be like this. that is all that gets me through.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Tue, 26 Jun 2007 00:01:21 GMT

i think we learn many things about ourselves when we are away from the people that we need in life. i know that is kind of a wierd statement, but i think its true. i dont really know what to say. i miss you all. i wish that i could speed up time. i wish that i could make everyone feel better. i know that some of my friends are really struggling, and i just wish that i could help them. idk...i feel....helpless. and honestly....i am really lonely down here too. i just wish that i could see you all. pray for me. i am praying for you.

Monday, June 11, 2007

Mon, 11 Jun 2007 14:59:47 GMT

take me home. country road. to the place. i belong.

i wish i knew where that place was. im sorry for so many things. sorry for everything. i've hurt people. i've done so many things wrong. im sorry. and i know that's not good enough, but i dont know what else to do or say. i try to be different. sometimes life just seems like a submarine, where you are surrounded by thousands of pounds of pressure, and suddenly, you see a leak, and then you sink. im sorry. you all deserve better. i hope that you can forgive me for anything that i have done that has hurt any one of you. God, im out of ideas. out of options. out of....well, i'm just out. please help me. i seem to have struck out yet again. i'm losing God, and...idk. just help me. please. before i lose myself among the crashing waves.

ciao.

Friday, June 01, 2007

Fri, 01 Jun 2007 17:54:08 GMT

so...it has been a while since i updated last. things are going pretty well here. i am definately keeping busy. i have been working with my dad doing manual labor like cutting down trees and stuff like that, so it has been lots of hard work. i like it alot though. it is good working with my dad. i have a really really big prayer request, i cant really say much about it, but some of you know what it is. please just pray about it. thank you so much. anyway, i miss you all a ton, and i hope to see you very soon. have a most marvelous day. ciao!

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Wed, 02 May 2007 06:40:44 GMT

This is a compilation of relient k songs. I hope you enjoy. I picked them……well……yeah. I picked them because. now. i know it is long, but please read it all.

I need you

Explore the cave that is my chest
A torch reveals there's nothing left
Your whispers echo off the walls
And you can hear my distant calls
The voice of who I used to be
Screaming out "someone, someone please
Please shine a light into the black
Wade through the depths and bring me back

I have not been abandoned, no I have not been
Deserted and I have not been forgotten

I'm Taking You with Me

But as every second mark goes by
I feel it's just a waste of time
If I'm not with you

If home is where the heart is
Then my home is where you are (my home is where you are)
It's getting oh so hard
To spend these days
Without my heart

Up and up

Cause it seems I get so hung up on
The history and what's gone wrong
And the hope of a new day
Is sometimes hard to see (what you see)
And though I'm finally catching onto it
And now the past is just a conduit
And the light there at the end is
Where I'll be

Cause I'm on the up and up
I'm on the up and up
And I haven't given up
Given up on what
I know I'm capable of
And I'm on the up and up
I'm on the up and up
Yeah there's nothing left to prove
Cause I'm just trying to be
A better version of me
For you
A better version of me
For you

Sunday, April 29, 2007

Sun, 29 Apr 2007 00:22:59 GMT

So...I got a new iPod! YAY for me

I want to swim away but don't know how
Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean
Let the waves up take me down
Let the hurricane set in motion... yeah
Let the rain of what I feel right now...come down
Let the rain come down

I am really happy right now. And at the same time, I am really sad. I am really going to miss everyone this summer. =(

Saturday, April 21, 2007

Sat, 21 Apr 2007 23:45:07 GMT

sadness in my heart

My poor ipod. You shall be missed.

Ciao.

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Thu, 19 Apr 2007 20:02:44 GMT

So this is me updating my xanga. Haha. I don’t really know what to say. However, it IS LAURA’S BIRTHDAY!!! Happy birthday to you laura!

Btw. I am doing really well. Things have been going really well for me lately. I am SO HAPPY!

So in conclusion I just have one last thing to say….

Hi :)

Ciao.

Monday, April 16, 2007

Mon, 16 Apr 2007 15:43:09 GMT

Dear God,

hold me up, for i lack the strength to stand on my own.
help me wait, for i am naturally impatient.
give me wisdom, for i want to make right decisions.
help me to succeed, for i am so afraid of failure.
lift my countenance, for my heart feels heavy.
please just help me.
i cant do any of this on my own.

amen.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Tue, 10 Apr 2007 04:33:57 GMT

i dont really know what all to write. i mean.....idk what i mean. i havent posted in a long time, and i want to, i just dont know what words to say.

My chains are gone
I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy reigns
Unending love, Amazing grace

i love you.

thank you God. you are so amazing.

ciao.